Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Mixed emotionsShare

mixed emotionsShare

Saturday, August 22, 2009 at 5:05pm Uploaded via Facebook Mobile

Days have gone by. It has taken me this time to even begin to describe the Cape Verde trip. I mean its easy to talk about but to describe it to someone that wasn't there won't do it justice. It was a life changing experience, and as the reality of the real world begins to slap me in the face, it only leaves me more confused. Im left thinking about the poor, the homeless, the sick. The little children running around alone, with nothing. Im left thinking, why? Why them, why am I fortunate enough to be here, in america. Ohh America, now that I think about it again, maybe they are more fortunate then us. Maybe they know what real life is. What lifes supposed to me. Maybe they are closer to the things of God then we can ever be. We worry about the freshest clothes, driving the cleanest whips, cuddling in the most beautiful beds in gorgeous homes. While these people are layin on bug covered, dirt floors. We are in beautiful churches, acs cranking, the most sophisticated sound systems, T.vs everywhere. While they are in a shack with 10 people in the dark, sweating, pouring all they have - worshiping the same God. We have been brought up in this mind set of being the best which is great. BUT I think we've lost touch on a lot of things. I honestly feel like were not focused on others like we should be, reaching the needy, clothing the naked, feeding the poor, healing the sick. I think we've been more focused on making ourselves more comfortable. What can we do to keep ourselves interested and entertained. We do a lot for ourselves and our "bubble" but what percent of the effort and MONEY do we use to help the people outside of this bubble we are in? Those are the people we should be using our resources to help, not on ourselves. Growth is great, but when we loose focus on what our true calling is, I think its going to be our greatest fall back.

Back to the mission trip, visiting small villages with nearly nothing. And seeing these people LIVING life with nothing was tearing me up inside. Ill say that, no matter where I went, If I let my manliness gaurd down I would cry. I spent nearly half the time there fighting back tears. I was affected in so many ways. You come home and truly appreciate ever little thing, honestly. We would play with little kids, and I couldn't help but think about my son, and how fortunate I am to beable to give him what he really needs. Not worrying about can I give him a meal today. Its a blessing.

I know its been talked about, but seeing the true happiness these people had was amazing. In the midst of struggling, I swear these people seemed better off then us. We've " got everything in america, but happiness". We aren't ever satisfied. These people you give them a old t shirt or piece of candy and their whole world was lifted up. Its crazyy for the most part on how appreciative they really were.

Seeing the life style changed the way I will live my life. Like mission trips are great and I think everyone should go on one. But I've been thinking, even here, we got problems. We got poor people, people that need so much help here and we over look them everyday. Why do we need to be away for us to want to help people. I want to get a group of people together soon and begin to make a difference here. Like inner city youth here, is where my heart is. My heart breaks for them like it does for the hurting in CV. We need to live intentional lives, meaning to help others.

I really don't know where im going with this, but its easy for me to write and get somthings out. I really want to stress the fact I feel like we've strayed so far away. Its more than our "christian" label. Its more than our beautiful church building, and the lights n music. Its about reaching people. I feel like we've lost touch on that. So if anybody has ideas let me know. We need to be jesus feet and do his work. Not be some crazy religious clowns, but be real people. People love the fact they can be real with someone, trust them and not be judged. Im far from perfect and I struggle daily. BUT I think that's a turn on for somebody. When somebody who doesn't kno christ, sees that you struggle to and they aren't alone in the battle. When they see how you handle your struggles and give it to God I think that is what will change their life. Not just saying you need to give you heart to christ or go to hell. And that's where it comes to being relational, which we talk about all the time.

I've been reading this book, blue like jazz. which is a miracle in itself cause I haven't read a book in years. heh. But its great. I was reading about love. True love.. he was talking about how our love is conditional. we only love the people that make us happy or meet our standards. That's where we go wrong. Its the people that are outcasts that we should be reaching an "loving". People in the "world" often love people more than us "christians". Its amazing.

I feel like we spend so much time focusing on ourselves, and what we do wrong or right. We know, we've made the choice to live right. Ya sometimes were going to mess up but get over it. We know the right path and regardless of screw ups we need to get over ourselves an help others realize what they need.

Idk, I guess im done for right now, I could just go on for ever. Lets get out of our bubble and do somthing. There is so much to be done and let it start with us. I know, often I don't seem like the most spiritual or the most whatever. Its not about that. I aint here to put on a show for anybody. Some of us are good crowd pleasers, some of us aren't. As long as I know where I stand in christ and as a man im fine with that. I've got a lot of personal issues with God, but one thing I can't deny is that he is real . And really all I am here to do, is to say somthings got to change and im willing.
Cape Verde Mission, 2009

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